The Elmo Misunderstanding!!!

[FSD]

THE ELMO MISUNDERSTANDING

A new employee is hired at the Tickle Me Elmo factory. The personnel
manager explains her duties and tells her to report to work promptly at 8:00
a.m.

The next day at 8:45 a.m., there's a knock at the personnel manager's door.
The assembly line foreman comes in and starts ranting and raving about this
new employee. He says she's incredibly slow, and the whole line is backing
up. The foreman takes the personnel manager down to the factory floor to
show him the problem.

Sure enough, Elmos are backed up all over the place. At the end of the line
is the new employee. She has a roll of the material used for the Elmos and
a big bag of marbles. They both watch as she cuts a little piece of fabric,
wraps it around two marbles, and starts sewing the little package between
Elmo's legs.

The personnel manager starts laughing hysterically. After several minutes,
he pulls himself together, walks over to the woman, and says, "I'm sorry. I
guess you misunderstood me yesterday. Your job is to give Elmo two test
tickles."

Have a great weekend fellas!!!

[FSD]

A couple went to the hospital together to have their baby delivered.
Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had a revolutionary new machine
that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the father.
He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in
favor of it.

The doctor set the knob to 10 percent for starters, explaining that
even 10 percent was probably more pain than the father had ever
experienced before. But as the labor progressed, the husband seemed to
be feeling fine, so he asked the doctor to go ahead and bump it
up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20 percent pain
transfer.

The husband was still feeling fine. The doctor checked the husband's
blood pressure and pulse and was amazed at how well he was doing. At
this, they decided to try for 50 percent. This, still, did not seem to
have any negative effect on him.

Since it was obviously helping out his wife considerably, he encouraged
the doctor to transfer ALL of the pain to him. His wife delivered a
healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic.
She was even allowed to leave the hospital the very same day!

Later that afternoon, when they got home, they found their next door
neighbor dead on their front porch.